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Year End Blah 2011. Pt.4

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 December 20 2011 at 07:45:12 AM



By summer the dissolve was already in full effect, a mean stench of feces wafting in waves from backstage trailer fans at an event called the Mayhem Snorefest. The scent became overbearing when Dave Ellefson handed me a can of Rockstar Energy Drink filled with water. Turns out alcohol ain’t hip, man. I was just shitfaced enough to irritate his apparent fragile sobriety and more than irritate the irate press coordinator who wanted to throw me out after assuring her that several of the Roadrunner bands headlining this bastion of corporate metal “suck”. Limping through the hot scuzz of a summer afternoon, here was laid bare the fact that I will never get to take over Phil Freeman’s job and/or get to meet NICKELBACK.This alone would have been tragic enough, but the entire situation was complicated by an impulse to grab the bassist and yell: “What is going on here? Why are you attending Bible study and playing festivals behind nu-metal cunts?!” But that did not happen. Instead, I mumbled a request for any fucked up story from the past he could muster. Some sign of life. Besides, forcing expectations on someone who doesn’t get it is just a form of nightmare logic. It’s like stalking up to innocent strangers in bars, convinced they have stolen my drink, ripping it out of their hands, and finishing it in one gulp. Maybe two.

The gash in Heavy Metal’s folds has expanded at an alarming rate, even as these words are typed. You don’t even have to be in the building to hear the roaring chirps of a board holding no less than thirteen guitar effects pedals (each one sold separately). Properly applied, this beast will wield what is known in the nomenclature of our times as existential riff salad. The transcendent winds heard to follow will one hundred percent prove to be the opinions of music writers eager to vigorously buffer the pixels of each preciously constructed album with brilliant elaborations like: epic, brutal, mandatory, avant garde, experimental, and guaranteed to take you from saggy to sexy in ten days!

Along with the usual abundance of zero carb music there was a high stack of autobiographies in 2011. I guess the term “long awaited” could apply to the ones from Iommi, Ace Frehley, and Mark Evans. MORBUS CHRON changed eyes from red to black and collapsed structure into a rotted putrid mass of quivering slime. The AUTOPSY album was decent, though something just weren’t the same. MANILLA ROAD made the best album of the year. MORBID ANGEL put out a comedy record. SABBATH’s attorneys did lunch and negotiated another reunion. But the most significant musical event didn’t occur until December when the year was already in its death throws, and KING DIAMOND was back on stage with MERCYFUL FATE at some band’s 30th anniversary show.



Manilla Road, Playground of the Damned
Villains, Road To Ruin
Riot, Immortal Soul
Saxon, Call to Arms
Morbus Chron, Sleepers in the Rift
Widow, Lifes Blood
Twisted Tower Dire, Make it Dark
Negative Plane, Stained Glass Revelations
Midnight, Satanic Royalty
High Spirits, Another Night
Deceased, Surreal Overdose
Em Ruinas, …from the Speed Metal Graves
Maim, Deceased to Exist

Reissues/Comps:

Militia, The Second Coming
Manilla Road, The Deluge
Jimi Hendrix, Winterland
Paul Chain Violet Theater, Detaching Form Satan EP; Highway To Hell EP

[Adam Ganderson]

Related

- Year End Blah 2011. Pt.1
- Year End Blah 2011. Pt.4

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