PYHA - The Haunted House
July 31 2008 at 09:17:57 PM
The tagline's relevant: What were you doing when you were 12-yrs-old? Didn't know dick 'bout Black Metal. It didn't even exist. Not even as a name. No worries; I had Scorps, Maiden, Crue, Priest. Can't even imagine how a kid's early exposure to the "rock" was basically something that sounded like night hags wrecking a wood chipper. Must've sounded like that. We all imitate the art we're fascinated with. I ape Lou Dobbs; Dobbs [tries to] ape Donaldson; Donaldson [tried to] ape Cronkite; Conkrite [successfully] aped Thales; Thales aped some guy whose luck had run out re: written records so we can't talk about who "caused" whom and so forth and so on. That's not really the case here, though. The case is that some fucking eighth grader put out a record arguably/debatably on par with at least SOME of Abruptum's recordings - at least in "tone." Does neither pro nor con per se for "Black Metal;" if anything it simply demonstrates how exceptionally "easy" it is to imitate. How is it that a kid with limited resources can at least put-on the wherewithal to con folks into thinking that he actually has created a product worthy of name checking lots of the Norse elite, viz. Abruptum and Burzum?
I don't think The Haunted House sounds anything like either of those "bands." It sounds like this early, really shitty Skinny Puppy 12" that I have that I can't even locate. But it's sparse and wobbly and doesn't ever cohere, which is what the Pup seemed to be gunning for at that point in time so kudos. There's emptiness, sure, and caterwauling vox that are basically - thankfully - unintelligible (I mean, the record IS called THE HAUNTED HOUSE). There's that Aquarius Recordsean "Burzumic Buzz," which frankly never ever really sounds like Burzum. But, c'mon kiddo. It's all about interpretation. What goes in my ears and swims to my brain sho nuff ain't connecting with whatever stroke the sound takes to get in your noggin. Andee, Gawd love 'im, puts out some really fucking great records, and he's written - well - about some really great fucking records. So, I suppose we need to put it to Andee, folks. Andee Connors: Is this a put-on, motherfucker? You "takin' the piss, puntah?"
A eighth grader is never gonna write AS I LAY DYING. A eighth grader is never gonna talk like Diamond Dave. And a eighth grader isn't going to understand Salo, no matter how many times he or she may be forced to watch it, while I crunch away on Cheez-Its in the back row. Yet, THIS kid. This Korean kid somefuckinghow gets a hold of some sorta artillery via mailorder and holes up in his room and hatches this fucking bizzaro vomit rawk thing that's not really Black Metal at all; it's really just fractured and moldy and motherfucking silly and annoying. But Terrorizer loves/loved it at one point. And the kid's anti-war and anti-military; at least he's got that going for him.
All sortsa shit comes into play here, and I suppose we can either enjoy this as "exemplary Black Metal" from a jejune source, or just in-and-of-itself, without any knowledge of whom nor how nor why it came about. But the novelty is LA model thin, and I'd rather be listening to Sabbath's Sabotage, which is always the ultimate sonic litmus test. Back to school for you, motherfucker.
[Stewart Voegtlin]
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