Hooded Menace - Never Cross the Dead
April 1 2010 at 02:11:50 PM
Don’t usually glean horror flick recommendations from one-sheets. Should I be impressed Hooded Menace connects their aesthetic(s) with that of
La Noche de las Gaviotas? Maybe… I feel more “at ease” than anything. I understand. It’s comfortable. Death Metal and “The Macabre” inextricably bound. Worked this out during Reagan's rule watching
Make Them Die Slowly with Morbid Angel soundtrack. (Chicken/egg equation persists only for bored bloggers. This is
prima facie as Paulina Porzikova’s lack of tan lines.) Hooded Menace have little to work out. They operate in realms fundamental, lovably hackneyed even. EC Comics band name and titles cribbed from some Scandinavian seventh grader’s journal who gives equal pen time to wondering why he enjoys bashing salmon to death with rocks and the physiological marvel that is his scrotum.
Never Cross the Dead alternates numbing, crystalline dirge and mid-tempo splat, with the latter infinitely more engaging.
Necroticism-Descanting the Insalubrious vibe be damned. Hooded Menace makes sickly, sticky, slickly tunes; stuff I enjoy dog-rolling in, limbs akimbo, well fudging up me stark innocence with its overtly Finnish musk. It could be vodka commercial if this were Minsk and Eli Roth was willing cameraman. Only complaint for the box is recording quality. It’s too, err, quality, which lends the slower moments the sad ponderous whisky-dick blah when what’s really gunned for is “gravitas” with a “w.” Remember that Hal Linden quotation about never playing the same role twice and starting from scratch, yada yada yada? Yeah, I don’t either.
[Stewart Voegtlin]
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