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Hellbent for Cooking

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 December 3 2009 at 12:15:19 PM

Let’s eat. Annick “Satannick/Morbid Chef” Giroux turns two obsessions into a big ol’ purty book. Said thing involves food and Metal in ways at once commonplace and unique: Annick’s amped up interest in local and international acts goes way under the microscope. Unabashed and emboldened, she requests recipes from volk in 32 countries. Results vary dramatically and make for good reading ‘n’ better eating.

Tried a bunch of ‘em. First was Reuben Storey’s [FUNEROT] “Pizza Cake (A Dangerous Eating,” which molds a molehill outta ghetto frozen-food aisle pizza. Coupled with Wild Irish Rose, smelling salts, SCTV: The complete first season, it went down like Pamela Des Barres on Rohyphnol.

“Bull Testicle Surprise” from Necrocock [MASTER’S HAMMER] was velvet hammer soft on the tongue and reminded me a bit of the cheapo liverwurst I used to eat as a young fat kid.

Shaxul [ARPHAXAT/DsO] contributes country French; I knew there was more to him and his yurt fulla animal heads ‘n’ NED releases. I hate people and their lesser cuisines, too. We’d spoon more than a soup kitchen.

Reifert’s [AUTOPSY/ABCESS] “Mummified Jalapeno Bacon Bombs” are pure pork hedonism. Peppers, pig, cheese. All that’s missing is the kraut beer to put the fire out.

Oddity: “Rook Pie” recipe from Liz Buckingham [ELECTRIC WIZARD]… I shoot crows in early autumn to get my eye in for duck season. Asked this British lady at the grocer if crows = rooks. She walked off. Suppose they aren’t. But I shall try this regardless.

Also: John Tardy [OBITUARY], where the hell did you come up with the idea to combine Budweiser and tequila? I do the same, but not simultaneously. To John Tardy, this equals “Good Margarita.” To me, this equals watching Evil Dead with one eye open while eating barely cooked chicken potpie.

Coolest desserts: The Rev (Kris Hades) [SADISTIK EXECUTION] wins hooves down with “Black Metal Berry Pie.” The pie’s latticework labyrinthine, symbolic, etc. framed with locks long ‘n’ blonde of that sweetheart from Blood on Satan’s Klaw.

Jeff Becerra, you are a madman. Remember when you mashed up pretzels and smeared strawberry Jell-o on top and called it a cake? I don’t. But it’s fucking good, man.

And Wino’s pot brownies are off limits for this space cowboy. I’ve dropped anchor.

Own a lotta cookbooks. This is the weirdest one other than a Peruvian book I have that has hedgehog recipes in it and a detailed head-to-tail feast that’s its own public Salo. Hellbent for Cooking is weird in that it’s really a celebrity cookbook. There’s no Food Network vibe here, folks. Accept’s Udo is more mental than Martha Stewart and his involvement here, along with Anvil’s Lips pushes this thing beyond personal fanaticism and into genuine rock artifact environs.

Of course Annick’s voice is the usual joy: Friendly, informative, enthusiastic. Heaps of photographs and insanely hilarious drawings from the genius that is Nagawika up the ante.

What else is left to say? Heat the fuckin’ oven. I got crows to cook.

[Stewart Voegtlin]

Hellbent for Cooking
By Annick Giroux
Bazillion Points

Related

- Hellbent For Cooking to be unleashed in November
- Interview: Annick Giroux

Comments (3)

  • 32 comments
    Invisible Oranges
    4:26 PM on Dec 07, 2009 // reply »
    Nice! I can't wait to try some of these myself, though my choices, being bloodless, will be less glamorous.
  • 371 comments
    VOEGTLIN
    6:32 AM on Dec 08, 2009 // reply »
    There are vegetarian recipes and lots of dessert recipes, too. But I don't think it matters if you even try to cook any of this stuff. It's a great read.
  • 1 comment
    3V!L B3N
    1:28 PM on Dec 28, 2009 // reply »
    crows to rook ?
 

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